They might even have to seek an outside advisor to help determine the best course of action, but they do find a working agreement on how much to spend, where to spend it, and what priorities take precedence. They might have to regularly negotiate some expenses. They might experience moments of disagreement. In the same way, in a true partnership, how money is spent is agreed on by both partners. It belongs to both, and each party contributes to the success of the whole. In a true partnership, who makes the most money doesn’t matter. While scenarios differ, the philosophy is the same-”we are a team and we own everything equally.” In over a decade of working with couples, I’ve noticed a common trait in healthy relationships, they always talk about “our money.” I’ve seen it in power-couples where both spouses have six figure jobs and I’ve seen it in traditional families where the wife works at home and the husband draws the family paycheck. The equality of the relationship is not determined by salary, but is determined by their equal work, passion, and contribution. One might bring in a larger salary than the other one may not even receive an official salary, but both contribute. In a partnership, both spouses contribute equally to the success of the marriage. I can’t marry someone who is going to make more money than me.” He said, “I’m going to be a pastor she wants to be a doctor. The break-up surprised me so I asked why he broke up with her. When I was in college, a friend broke up with his long-term girlfriend. Money is never the disease it’s always a symptom. Nearly every survey shows the number one source of conflict for married couples is money.
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